Rona Musings Firsts II

Unless we take that first step into the unknown, we will never know our own potential.

— Alan Rufus

I just received a notice from WordPress: “Happy Anniversary with WordPress.com! You registered on WordPress.com 7 years ago.”

Seven years ago we were going to start a blog about Lawrence’s journey through dialysis. We were too exhausted to write. The blog was shelved.

Instead, it morphed into my journey through the wilderness.

In this post, I am going to choose one (or ten- I never follow my own rules) posts from each month of my grief to mourning to healing journey to prove to myself that I am, indeed, on the path to healing. This could be cathartic, or I could be asking for an off-the-rails evening, we shall see…

If you like, you can join along with me on this retrospective by following the links:

July 2019

Why I Write My first blog post

August 2019

Thoughts on Grief V I can’t wish you back, I love you too much to wish you pain

September 2019

Thoughts on Grief XXXIV A visit in the night

94 Days I feel confused and do not like it.

Thank you for LOVE My path was not to save, the lesson was to learn to LOVE and be loved.

October 2019

Moving Forward V Put one foot in front of the other

Lessons and Gifts I am enough

November 2019

Holes embrace the light

Out LOUD Truth is stranger than fiction

Faceless Demons Oh the irony of numbers

Worthy at 144 Days I am WORTHY

Dreams

December 2019

Darkness when pure light shines the darkness can fully disappear

Counting Days in the Dark hanging on to the edge of a cliff by my fingernails

182.5 I will heal, I will be me

Christmas Reflections – In Loving Memory Of and Onward Ho

Are you Courageous? courage is something sorely lacking in my life

Matter or No Matter my “beginning of everything”

January 2020

Paradigm Shift be careful what one wishes for

Life — Period. Why is it that the person I see in the mirror is so focused on the things she wants to fix that she can’t (or won’t) see in herself what others see?

In the Beginning I don’t know where else to start but at the beginning

The Beginning Through the End the suffocating grief was nearly unbearable.

My Grief Journey Began I was a train wreck.

Daybreak and a Visit seize the day and be thankful

Strength II the only life I can really save is my own

February 2020 (what a month…)

Guilty as Charged I overthink

Buried, Excavation, and Returning the burial dirt has stained my soul

Acknowledging My Beast always fighting with myself

Inner Dialogue at 4am another visit…

Joyful Revelation(s) ginormous soul-shifting

Scars focus on the lessons

Epic “Pull Your Ass Back” Four words that literally saved my life

My Journey of Self Begins deriving joy while standing in shit

Facing Darkness living my best life with unbridled passion

Why I Write Rewrite

March 2020 the transformation continues

Embracing the Weird Magic Within a brain-shift occurred!

When Lightning Strikes I am worthy

Excitement, Shadows, and Light light shining through darkness = sparkle

April 2020

Powerful and Wild trusting my wild

Healing

Mourning + Contentment = Healing & Moving Forward

Off the Rails waiting for the next destination.

Rona Musings Pushing the Pull Doors

May 2020

Rona Musings Sleep (It was a fluke)

Rona Musings Acceptance

Rona Musings Detours

Rona Musings Mourning II

Why I Write Rewrite II

Rona Musings Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve

Firsts

There… in a very small nutshell, the highlights of my first 327 days without my Love. The pain wasn’t as great as I thought it would be, because I’ve lived it already. I was bracing for tears and instead I rejoiced at the chance to heal.

If you’ve made it this far and clicked every link, you get a prize.

XO Lisa

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