Paradigm Shift

These Glasses are Not Rose-Colored…

When I wrote Are You Courageous one week ago, I talked about a Paradigm Shift as one of my Action Plans for 2020.

Perhaps it was the flu bug and the ensuing high fevers, or the realizations that came to me while lying in bed alone, but something shifted in my brain over the last five days.

A “Paradigm Shift” is defined as “a fundamental change in approach or underlying assumptions.”

When I listed Paradigm Shift as a plan, my narrow definition of that checkbox was that it meant to be open to new…, get rid of chaos, and work on my book.

Little did I know what G-d had in mind for that box and for me. But as always, greater things are in store when left up to the Creator and Conductor of the Universe.

Back to my point: It seems as though my view of life has changed sometime over the last five days.

– No longer do I seem to be looking at life through lenses of grief. It’s as though I have a new pair of virtual-reality glasses.

Do I still miss my Love? Yes.

Do I think about him? Of course.

But are those feelings all-encompassing? I can’t really say that they are.

– I am excited for the future and its possibilities.

Has anything concrete changed in my life over the last seven days? No.

– Am I naive enough to think that my grief process is over?

Oh absolutely NOT! I will miss my Love until the day I die and will love him for eternity. My feelings have not changed. But I can think about him without bursting into tears – at least for now. I want to laugh at and remember the silly, fun memories instead of just crying.

I want to let my Love’s light shine through instead of the darkness from pain at the end. He was so full of love and light. (Okay, my eyes leaked at the last statement)…

I guess the moral of this story is that one should be careful what one wishes for, or writes down, because G-d may have other plans…

190 & 2/365 XO Lisa

12 comments

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  1. Laura M Bailey

    Loving this post so much. Love that you are contemplating the love, joy, laughter and allowing the light of it to fill the dark spaces.
    I love too that you type G-d instead. I used to prior to blogging and do so outside of blogging but didnt trust the understanding of others that it was not a dishonor but an honor. You inspire me to be as I am too and return to it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lisa Long Preisler

      Thank you so much for the beautiful compliment(s) and thank you for noticing… My Love is (was) is (was) Jewish. It is (was) is his tradition. I adopted it because it makes sense to honor the omnipotence of G-d in that way. H-s name is so wonderful that I should not even write it in its full form.
      If anyone asks, I am happy to explain and have done so many times. XO Lisa

      Like

  2. Renee/Heart Tokens

    I got tears when I read this one! Writing has really been healing for me. I don’t know how it happens, but something just shifts. Maybe it’s as the scriptures say, we are overcomers by the word of our testimony. Every post you write is a testament to how you made it through! You are so brave Lisa! 🙌🏼💜

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lisa Long Preisler

      I don’t know how it happens either, Renee. But I suspect that you’re correct. I gradually noticed over that last couple of days that the overwhelming sadness was just not there. I am in awe of the awesome power of G-d! XO

      Like

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