Matter or No Matter

“There comes a time for healing
no matter how broken you are right now;
no matter how heavy your heart is right now.
There comes a time when you will go outside
and let the sun shine on your face
and let the wind touch your hair
and you will not be tired by just simply being awake.
There comes a time when you will be happy to be alive again
and that day you will appreciate your own being
because now you know the other side.
Now you know the opposite.
Now you know what it’s like to not be sure if you really are; who
you really are;
if you simply are, anymore.
And that day
will be the beginning of everything.”
― Charlotte Eriksson, Empty Roads & Broken Bottles; in search for The Great Perhaps

The third definition for Matter in Webster’s online dictionary is “The element in the universe that undergoes formation and alteration”

Am I going to be Matter, or No Matter?

Change, or Not Change?

Let Grief overtake me, or not?

I have had many happy moments

in the last six weeks

enough to remind me

that life must go on

Although my Love died

I did not

Grief is fluid

always there

and

missing him is okay

crying is normal

but it does not have to

be

the

main

thought

in

my

head

24/7

grief can live alongside happiness

grieving and living

can coexist somehow

so I can be me

and I can be happy

moving forward

moving onward

eyes to the future

while not forgetting

the joy of the past

the lessons I learned

remembering my brokenness

so it won’t relapse.

I want to be Matter

I want to be me

I want to be happy

…even in the midst of grief

This realization made today

my “beginning of everything.”

186 XO Lisa