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Strength

“Courage isn’t having the strength to go on – it is going on when you don’t have strength.” — Napoleon Bonaparte When my Love became ill, I became strong. I researched treatments, became an ‘expert’ on chronic kidney disease, arteriosclerosis, dialysis machines, home treatment, peritonitis, mixed antibiotics at home, calciphylaxis, dietary restrictions, pain medications, alternative…

In the Beginning

I don’t know where else to start but at the beginning My Love and I met in October 2005. Online. He happened upon my profile, started up a conversation, and proceeded to rock my world. He was a renaissance man with a conservative streak and Jewish. I was bald, and Christian. One day I decided…

Confessions

I am an Ambivert Meaning, I display both introverted and extroverted personality characteristics. I sit back, observe, see where I may or may not fit it, and then decide if I am going to act – or not. Some people may see this as stand-offish. It really isn’t. I get to know people first which…

Grateful and Thankful for HPM

I am grateful that my Love was under the care of wonderful Hospice/Palliative Medicine (HPM) Physicians during the last six months of his life. I wanted to publicly thank them on this platform for some time but until today couldn’t find the words. My Love resisted HPM. Only after much discussion (read arm-twisting or strong…

Paradigm Shift

When I wrote Are You Courageous one week ago, I talked about a Paradigm Shift as one of my Action Plans for 2020. Perhaps it was the flu bug and the ensuing high fevers, or the realizations that came to me while lying in bed alone, but something shifted in my brain over the last…

Cracks and Holes

“Yes, we will all have cracks —but that is how we breakwithout falling apart.” Timothy Joshua Grief largely ebbing periodically flowing from my imperfect heart perhaps healing but cracks and holes remain. Holes that permit entrance of light. Light that illuminates memories. Memories that can escape through the cracks. Escaping memories that help healing and…