Instead of anxiety,
I choose gratitude
Instead of trepidation,
In yesterday’s blog post Life — Period. II I mentioned the one-year anniversary of my Love’s death was 30 days away. The anxiety about the date started weeks ago.
I am determined to perform a conscious action each day to quell the apprehension that is steadily building. I will not allow dread to drive me off the rails again to another Epic trip dangerously close to the edge of the abyss where I no longer think my life is worth living without my Love.
Therefore, I will practice gratitude daily. Today, and every day. By recounting my truth through the eyes of gratefulness and love again, and again, again. Until the one-year anniversaries that I view with trepidation and fear have passed and the stone-setting is complete.
Here we go. Day One:
I am grateful that I met Lawrence my Love.
When I met him I was disillusioned, tired of the rat-race (or meeting rats), and literally done with dating. I met many men. I had no hair (just like now). I am weird, a nerd, think too much, far from a beauty queen. Not everyone’s cup of tea.
In fact, I had predetermined that IF I met him, he was the last person I was going to meet before I gave up altogether.
He was outgoing, insistent, determined. He kept calling, I answered, and he just wouldn’t take my NO for an answer.
So I very reluctantly agreed to meet.
The first date had to be postponed because he was called to work. (I questioned my acceptance, but I question everything). His persistence continued.
We continued to talk.
Then we finally met face-to-face.
To be continued…