Yes, yes, yes!!! I guess it’s no secret now that I am all in embracing my weird!
However as a Respiratory Therapist, in addition to fun, I try to spread truth in the face of this worldwide outbreak!
I posted this on Facebook yesterday and some of the responses I received were the best (I have awesome, weirdo friends):
From a friend: “You & me both sister! I let my freak flag fly!”
From a friend: “Wine with Dewine🍷🍷” (Ohio’s Governor)… My response: “I must admit that I was never impressed with DeWine… ever… until now.” Another friend responded: “I think there are a lot of us who could say this! So glad he’s in charge now though.”
More responses: “Put up with my wife lol,”
“Just alphabetized my DVD/Blue Ray Movies.”
“In stressful times I cook, clean, and bake. I like to fatten people up.”
Then there’s my brother-in-law channeling his inner Larry (my Love) saying OH VEY… LOL… George, that’s OY VEY!
This made me cry- Lots of Love to the Healthcare Providers at the Cleveland Clinic:
“To slow down, be still, and learn to be okay with myself as I am.”
Boy that’s a hard one. Work has not slowed down at all. In fact it’s been busier than ever.
I have been working a lot of hours because I really don’t have anything else to do. I really need to stop that and take time for myself to reflect.
I need to realize my worth. I am not someone to be taken lightly.
I am someone to be valued. Of course this is just for future reference, because it’s really hard to do anything and remain 6 feet apart from people.
I need to be OK as I am now, in this place, in this space.
I need to stop trying to change myself to suit other people. Just embrace the introverted, weird, nerdy, a little crazy, a bit kinky, totally awesome person that G-d created. If people don’t like it, walk. Preferably the other way. I will not accept anything or anyone less than I deserve.
I will hug myself, take care of myself, and do things that resonate with my soul. I will continue to meditate, pray, read, play my keyboard, listen to music loudly and frequently, and just keep in touch with my friends and family.
But I will not be the first one to reach out so frequently in the future. I think that I will just take a little break for a while to see who reaches out to me.
I have a confession to make: I am an introvert. INTP, to be exact. Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Perceiving if one believes Myers-Briggs Type Indicator tests.
After my husband passed away nine months ago I didn’t want so see people. I had difficulty being in crowds/ couldn’t stand the sympathy stares/ didn’t want to have conversations/ hear ‘I’m sorry’ over and over. Being around people tore my already-broken heart out and smashed it into a million shards.
But dealing with people is a fact of life, especially when one works in the medical field. I had to get used to people again. From patients who asked ‘How is your husband?’ to interacting with others without crying.
Then I accepted a new job involving travel, training, and being very people-forward. I found that I liked interacting with people- even enjoyed it!
Enter Covid-19. Just when I decide I enjoy people, have a job that I love with a company that cares, a boss whom I respect, and did I mention decided I enjoy people, BOOM! Lockdown!
Keep your distance!
Work from home!
Flatten the curve!
Only leave the house for essentials.
Travel is out, people are virtual, work is phone and email.
Family is communicating by phone, text, and via the houseparty app – which is a hoot. But virtual communication can never be as sweet as a hug from a grandlittle!
But at least I’m alive. No symptoms. No fever. Trying to raise social awareness.
I will survive, I’m an introvert. We know how to do it best, alone… But that doesn’t stop me from craving a hug right now.
Week one of my post-travel overseas stay at least six feet away from every living human being semi- quarantined is done and now on to week two. (What a run-on sentence, yes, I am aware grammar police).
And so it goes.
My life these days isn’t very interesting- working from home during the week. Thank G-d for a wonderful employer who sent everyone except patient-facing employees home to work.
Listening to many tunes, full bore. Don’t know where I would be without uplifting, loud music.
My pup is getting walks in the metro park when the weather is nice. I take a ride in the car almost every evening to stave off boredom and get a bit of fresh air.
I’ve been actually cooking, dusting off those skills again. Anybody have tips to cook for one?
I have been playing my keyboard- albeit badly, but this morning when I was playing I smelled Old Spice. Overwhelming scent. I associate that scent with my Grandfather, so I like to think that he was listening. The thought brought some peace.
I found more TP! So I am stocked for the apocalypse. Not overstocked, but okay for the foreseeable future.
Many artists are streaming mini concerts live on social these days. My bonus daughter Jen and her band mates Beth and Shawndell (Gin, Chocolate, & Bottle Rockets) did one better last evening. They streamed a live two-hour concert that brought joy to many people. Look them up on iTunes and Spotify. They are amazing! I can’t think of anything better than to support these wonderful ladies!
So I’ll go back to cleaning (sans Jagermeister, for now). I hope you all are doing well and staying sane. Of course, I realize that sanity has many different meanings…
I’ll leave you with a pic of what sprang up in my backyard over the past week. They remind me of all the daffodils I saw in London two weeks ago.
I suppose it’s the “you only want what you can’t have” effect, but still craving people contact. Face-time, talking on the phone, instant messaging, hopping on social just for interaction, blogging, just doesn’t cut it. My heart’s desire is a full-on bear hug that feels as though it could go on forever.
Just one month ago I could have crawled into a self-dug hole, covered it over, and stayed there. But not now, no, no way. I need skin-to-skin contact.
But it’s just too dangerous. I’ve been overseas within the last two weeks. I’m working from home for the foreseeable future. Travel is dicey. I certainly can’t be around my grandchildren until it’s positive that I am negative.
The upside-down virus-ridden world is still turning whether I am isolated or not. Work needs to be done. The dog still needs to walk, go outside, eat. I will survive if it’s meant to be, and if not, I know were I’m going and who I’ll be hanging out with.
However, the thing that concerns me are people who are not taking this seriously. Those who refuse to follow guidelines although they fall in an at risk group but continue to ignore the warnings. Those who still go to beaches in great groups of virus-ridden people. I see large groups of people as virus incubators- and I am not even a germophobe- or at least I wasn’t until now.
Life is too short to bow to lifestyle and pride.
I have researched this Covid-19 monster extensively for my job as a Clinical Specialist/Respiratory Therapist. I’ve watched the numbers of people who have tested positive increase exponentially over the past weeks as the death count rises. I’m not surprised at all, because the numbers are in line with the epidemiology math R0 values that were predicted.
The world is in chaos. Countries are shutting down. Borders are closing. People are suffering. Life and death decisions are made due to age and available equipment- especially ventilators. I wonder how many people are positive and do not know it yet due to a shortage of testing kits.
The world is upside-down due to a beautiful, breathtaking, visually perfect, virus.
I am attaching a couple of links that really drive the urgency home. They are not for the faint of heart, but both are sound and from a professional perspective: