This is a public service announcement:
It has come to my attention that I use one particular word too much and that a friend should pass along the message that I should stop.
Let’s get one thing straight (or five)…
I have always followed the beat of my own drum and pretty much ignored the admonitions of others who seemed holier-than-thou or judgmental.
Rarely do I read instruction manuals, unless I have more than a few screws left over in a project.
Nobody tells me what I should or should not do except my boss, who is paying my salary, and G-d. If anyone would like to pay more than my salary or apply for G-d’s position so they can judge, I might just listen.
Seriously y’all, sometimes there just isn’t a better word than “fuck”! It can be said so many ways and mean many things – not all of them what two people do between the sheets.
Besides, I try to keep it down, I really do. In this day and age it isn’t good to say what one really thinks, now is it?
How about this?
If I type the word “fuck” just ignore it and instead read “fudge”!
If I say the word “fuck” out loud just pretend that I am the worst person in the world and you are better than I am so your self-esteem will skyrocket.
Or just tell me that you’re offended and I will apologize profusely, beg for forgiveness, cut out my tongue, and never think an independent thought again.
Whoops – the last paragraph was an April Fools joke.
Why don’t we try this: You do you, I’ll be me, and we’re both okay just as we are.
That sounds better!