Well hello little badass calendar – better late than never!
Isn’t that the truth.
It was hard to pretend there wasn’t a way forward growing up in my family though.
My parents’ favorite saying was “suck it up and keep moving,” in one form or another – at least I thought so.
Perhaps it was passed down through the generations from the Huguenots, the Mayflower ancestor, the influence of my 4th great grandfather who was raised by his older brother because his parents were killed and scalped by Indians in 1757, those who fought in and died or lived through every war on American soil, or maybe the great depression in the 1930s.
My family ancestry is varied and very interesting, to say the least. We seem to have put the capital “S” in Stubborn.
But back to my parents…
Puberty onset asthma, didn’t want to go to gym – “Suck it up and do your best.”
Didn’t like math – “Suck it up and study, you’ll need math in the future.”
A boy broke up – “Suck it up, everything happens for a reason.” (They were probably seriously cheering inside).
Marriage problems – “You made your bed, now lie in it.” (Rescinded when they got the rest of the story…. but still).
Divorce at 30 years old with two small children – by then I had the “Suck it up and move on” mentality firmly stuck in my psyche so I just did!
There were so many times that I wanted to just quit, but I kept hearing the words in my head in various forms or another:
“Never give up!”
“It could be worse!”
“The best is yet to come.”
“Everything happens for a reason.”
“G-d is in control.”
and the familiar mantra
“Suck it up and keep moving.”
Every, single, situation the mantra was mine.
Until I learned a thing or 11.
- I do not have to put up with shit from anyone.
- It is okay to be a badass woman.
- It is okay to take a break if I need to, and does not imply weakness.
- It is okay to think of myself and my needs first.
- I do not have to be constantly moving.
- I can say NO
- I can make decisions for myself.
- It is okay to ask for help.
- It is okay to have my own opinion.
- I do not have to follow the crowd to be validated.
- I am still stubborn and can suck it up and move on if the situation warrants!
I am sure there are more, but my brain just went south for the winter…
The moral of my story is that if the family mantra passed down through the generations no longer fits, it is perfectly okay to change it or tweak it to reflect individuality.