Unapologetically Real 18

Acceptance

What a loaded topic… at least for me!

“No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.”

― Alice Walker

Acceptance has been a hard one to swallow.

I have had many occurrences in my life that I did not choose,

did not want,

had to deal with,

reconcile,

get over,

stop worrying about,

find a way through,

and leave behind.

“You couldn’t relive your life, skipping the awful parts, without losing what made it worthwhile. You had to accept it as a whole–like the world, or the person you loved.”

― Stewart O’Nan, The Odds: A Love Story

I am sure everyone has these moments

of regret

and loss,

whether material or ethereal,

lost people – living or dead.

Moments that require change

wanted or unwanted.

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”

― Lao Tzu

Everyone has grieved

someone, something,

many someones or somethings

but gone on living

though scarred.

“to love life, to love it even

when you have no stomach for it

and everything you’ve held dear

crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,

your throat filled with the silt of it.

When grief sits with you, its tropical heat

thickening the air, heavy as water

more fit for gills than lungs;

when grief weights you like your own flesh

only more of it, an obesity of grief,

you think, How can a body withstand this?

Then you hold life like a face

between your palms, a plain face,

no charming smile, no violet eyes,

and you say, yes, I will take you

I will love you, again.”

― Ellen Bass

Eventually,

one has to choose

between living life

with

acceptance

or

denial.

Holding on

or

Letting go.

“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.”

― Ann Landers

Accepting and letting go

takes strength

of major proportions.

It is easier to wallow in the past,

remember the pain,

wish that things didn’t happen,

say, “Poor, poor, me,”

than to let go, move on, seek healing,

and choose acceptance.

Yet, that is what so many do.

I was in a few grief groups on social for quite some time. I met amazing people, some of whom I am still connected with. Those individuals are sincerely working through the pain of grief and mourning. Others are intent on telling their stories over and over, perpetuating grief and sadness. Keeping the pain going and letting it define them. Some believe that healing isn’t possible.

I disagree.

Healing from grief and pain is possible. It requires acceptance as the first step.

Through acceptance, one has the freedom to experience every emotion that arises: Sadness, anger, tears, rage, anguish, heartbreak, sorrow, fury, to name only a few.

Unexpressed grief and anger does nothing but rot the soul from the inside out.

“Learn this from me. Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves.”

― Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven

Acceptance gives me the freedom to love myself even though I have no control of circumstances. To say over, and over, and over again:

“I am not in control.”

“I am not in control.”

“I am not in control.”

“The best way is not to fight it, just go. Don’t be trying all the time to fix things. What you run from only stays with you longer. When you fight something, you only make it stronger.”

― Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters

Acceptance gives me the freedom to love another again.

To understand and appreciate another individual for their uniqueness.

To never compare.

To live my life going forward with wholeness.

“Love is made up of three unconditional properties in equal measure:

1. Acceptance
2. Understanding
3. Appreciation

Remove any one of the three and the triangle falls apart.

Which, by the way, is something highly inadvisable. Think about it — do you really want to live in a world of only two dimensions?

So, for the love of a triangle, please keep love whole.”
― Vera Nazarian, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration

Acceptance accepts everything as it is

without convincing

without smokescreens

without overthinking

without excuses.

“The most confused you will ever get is when you try to convince your heart and spirit of something your mind knows is a lie.”

― Shannon L. Alder

Acceptance

is

resilience

and

living the best life possible.

“Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it’s less good than the one you had before. You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you’ve lost, or you can accept that and try to put together something that’s good.”
― Elizabeth Edwards

Acceptance leads to gratitude!

XO Lisa ❤️ living a gratitude filled life!