Today, I am grateful for memories (I think).
“Memories are bullets. Some whiz by and only spook you. Others tear you open and leave you in pieces.”
― Richard Kadrey, Kill the Dead
I opened up facebook and it was full of memories of my Love Larry.
A ‘battle of the bellies’ photo with pregnant Sarah (my daughter-in-love), reminiscent of the same photos taken with previous grandchildren. Memories of all those moments flooded into my consciousness.
Pictures of Grandpa with granddaughter Madison – the first time we met her. There was such joy in our house that day.
But the thing that made me literally bawl my eyes out was a sweet exchange from afar between Miss B and her “Paw Paw”. They had a particularly close bond.
Miss B still talks to me about her “Paw Paw” and how much she misses him. She is nearly five years old and I hope the memories never fade, although I suspect at some point they will.
But the poignant memory that showed up today was of a rock gifted to “Paw Paw” from Miss B that I brought home and presented to him – along with a video.
“Paw Paw” recorded a video in reply.
The exchange between the two of them showed the love and joy they shared.
At first, I didn’t think that I could watch and listen to the videos. However, since I was already crying just thinking about them, I pushed play.
The love was palpable.
Hearing my Love Larry’s voice again was comforting and felt like a hot poker thrust in my heart, all at the same time.
Perhaps someday I will be able to watch and listen without crying, but, as my daughter-in-love Sarah says (in all of her wisdom):
“Maybe, and if it always makes you cry, that’s okay too ❤️”
You are correct, Sarah, it will always be okay to remember.
… and cry.