Grateful for 100 days…
Things I have learned from gratitude and grieving:
Gratitude has taught me:
“Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.”
― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh
- Gratitude is good for my soul. On or about day 20 I felt a noticeable shift in my attitude.
- Finding something to be grateful for changes the way I look at things and at life in general. My eyes are no longer looking at negative, but positive.
- The act of gratitude helps keep the darkness at bay. The world seems brighter. When sadness comes, it is of shorter duration.
- Focusing on gratitude shifted my brain from toxic negative thoughts to more and more positive emotions.
- My life has changed for the better in that I crave peace and joy.
What I have learned from Grieving:
“There’s a fine edge to new grief, it severs nerves, disconnects reality–there’s mercy in a sharp blade. Only with time, as the edge wears, does the real ache begin.”
― christopher moore
- In the beginning, grief numbs. When the numbness wears away, the grief bomb goes off over, and over, and over again.
- The best thing to do for one who is grieving is sit beside them. Silently. Don’t ask how they are doing. Don’t say anything unless they talk first, and even then, don’t. Let them talk. Let them pour it out. Just be there for them… It’s the hardest thing to do. And please, please, please, no sympathy looks.
- Grief must be experienced full-on. Crying, screaming, mourning.
- Grief is not my fault. Not your fault. It is a normal, human emotion. There is nothing wrong with grieving the death of someone who is loved.
- Holding grief in hurts only the self.
- My experience with grieving is different from everyone else’s experience and should not be compared. Grief is grief, pain is pain. All are the same, yet different for each individual.
- Even after grieving, healing, and moving on with my life, the love for my Larry will remain. The love for your loved one will remain as well. That is as it should be, and it’s okay.
- Memories may bring tears, and that’s okay too.
- Grief has taught me that life is fragile and should not be taken for granted.
“Grief can destroy you –or focus you. You can decide a relationship was all for nothing if it had to end in death, and you alone. OR you can realize that every moment of it had more meaning than you dared to recognize at the time, so much meaning it scared you, so you just lived, just took for granted the love and laughter of each day, and didn’t allow yourself to consider the sacredness of it. But when it’s over and you’re alone, you begin to see that it wasn’t just a movie and a dinner together, not just watching sunsets together, not just scrubbing a floor or washing dishes together or worrying over a high electric bill. It was everything, it was the why of life, every event and precious moment of it. The answer to the mystery of existence is the love you shared sometimes so imperfectly, and when the loss wakes you to the deeper beauty of it, to the sanctity of it, you can’t get off your knees for a long time, you’re driven to your knees not by the weight of the loss but by gratitude for what preceded the loss. And the ache is always there, but one day not the emptiness, because to nurture the emptiness, to take solace in it, is to disrespect the gift of life.”
― Dean Koontz, Odd Hours