Jumping Down Rabbit Holes

In the blog post Life—Period I mentioned

a rabbit hole to go down later…

I can’t resist a good rabbit hole

and no, my name isn’t Alice…

But the question haunting me is:

Why is it that the person I see in the mirror is so focused on the things she wants to fix that she can’t (or won’t) see in herself what others see?

Is it humility?

Probably not.

A still fractured sense of self-worth?

Getting warm…

The child within who was bullied

because she was heavy all her life?

That was hard…

The adult who was shamed because

she gained weight after giving birth

to two children?

Pretty demeaning…

The person who is getting older

with more wrinkles and gray hair

showing up?

That’s just natural order…

The lady who is not perfect to the

‘standards’ of today, or yesterday

for that matter…

Now we’re onto something!

By the way, this isn’t meant

to be a pity fest.

I am honestly going down this

rabbit hole of self-reflection

because I KNOW that I am not the

only person who sees the flaws in

the mirror that need to be fixed

instead of the good qualities that

G-d gave me.

I see someone different

than others see,

than G-d sees.

I wish I could see myself through

my Love’s eyes.

He always told me that I was

beautiful. No matter what weight,

how tired my eyes were,

or how many times I protested.

But the question remains, why?

If we hold ourselves

to G-d’s standards, and

we are made in H-s image

Therefore, we can be no

less than wondrous.

So who am I going to believe?

The voices in my head instilling

self-doubt and loathing,

the ads saying buy this

beauty product, or that

wrinkle cream?

Or G-d?

The answer is clear!

Now to put it into practice…

209 & 21/365 XO Lisa