
3 August 2019
Up at 4:30am, again.
Crying, again.
Unable to go back to sleep, again.
Looking through pictures and videos on my phone, again.
There was a video of Lawrence that I watched through tears recorded this year during an early Cleveland Indians game on April 30th.
In the video, he tells a story about why he did not play baseball in his youth- because he was hit in the bridge of his nose by a ball he was trying to catch. The video ends with the statement, “But I was a pretty good softball player.” After I pushed stop, he told me he was a good pitcher. I questioned that statement in my way- told him he was full of crap. We laughed – a great deal.
Then this happened:
I stopped at a rest area 45 minutes from home on the way to my Aunt’s house. I exited my car and went into the restroom with just my keys and cell phone. Hung the keys on the purse hook. When I exited the stall, my lanyard got stuck on the door, made an arc through the air, and flew freakishly down the toilet as it was flushing – in slow motion. Perfect shot. Perfect underhand softball pitch. I could not have made that shot for a million dollars… It seemed supernatural.
Thank goodness for great neighbors who rescued me with my spare key!
Well done Lawrence. Way to force me to slow down.
Okay… I laughed, eventually – and I sat still for an hour!
Later in the day, my phone screen broke. Completely, while in my purse. No looking at the phone all the time. Spent great times being present with family. Then more sitting, waiting for it to get repaired.
I had dinner by myself at the bar in one of our favorite restaurants. More quiet time just watching people scurry around. Happy to be still.
Still later, I had a text conversation with a friend that made me laugh so hard. Belly laugh. I needed that and am thankful for good friends.
Lesson learned.
I will try to spend more time
In stillness
And laugh more
In silliness
My soul was
Refreshed and revitalized
Through two unfortunate incidents
and one belly laugh
Thank you, my love.
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