Shattered, broken, smashed into a million pieces.
Most of this picture could represent me a mere 553 days ago.
But the picture doesn’t tell the entire story.
Every one of those cracks is held together by love. The pieces that are missing are gone forever. I may find them someday or perhaps they are in a different place – somewhere they shouldn’t be. Maybe that’s why I feel strange much of the time – like I no longer belong in this world.
But look closely at the half-hearted or perhaps smart-ass smile. It’s somewhere between a smirk and getting ready to cry.
What about the area around my left eye and going across my nose?
That, my friend, is healing. Pure and simple healing.
Like a snake sheds its skin or a butterfly breaks free from its chrysalis, the unzipping of my cracked layers of grief has finally began.
These things and so many others in the past 533 days since Lawrence went on to his next great adventure, leaving me here on earth have helped me get to this point:
staying in the present,
being unapologetically real,
a great deal of prayer,
becoming a badass,
examining my shadows,
exploring my darkness,
slaying my demons,
asking for help when necessary,
finding and embracing my tribe,
cutting through the bullshit things I used to tell myself,
stopping constant I’m sorry’s,
doing only what is right for me,
learning to say no to what does not resonate,
learning to say no and walk away from people who aren’t who they say they are,
screaming, crying incessantly,
mourning from the depths of my soul,
then realizing that I have suffered enough,
saying YES to healing,
being open to new,
giving up control to G-d,
and knowing that nothing happens by chance.
For the first time I can see light at the end of the tunnel and am truly ready to move on with my life.
Brilliant, vibrant colors are being revealed by unzipping my cracked layers!
I look forward to examining the things that have helped me get to this point in the coming weeks and months so the unzipping of my cracked layers can be completed.
I hope you will come along for the ride…
XO Lisa ❤️ living a gratitude filled life!