Badass Moving Forward

Badassery 9/14

Well hello little badass calendar…

I made that decision to crawl out of my hole (that sounds really, really, bad… which hole? Oh shit!) There goes my over-active imagination!

I’ve never really had sex with a stranger for drugs, found a lump, or had my electricity shut off. But I suppose there’s a first time for everything…

I have, however experienced holes of a different kind.

Let me rephrase, I have experienced wanting to jump off the edge of the abyss.

End it all.

Say goodbye.

Check out.

I think that’s worse than being in a hole. But who am I to judge? Everybody’s hole is their own and quite different.

I have experienced the bottomless pit of low self-esteem. Luckily, I dragged myself out of that godforsaken hellish hole and decided that

I

am

worthy!

Even though I may need to lose 40 pounds

Even though I’m almost 60 years old

List of even thoughs is a long one…

but regardless, I am worthy of self-love

and for being loved for who I am!

I have experienced great love

and the great grief that comes

from my Love dying.

I have experienced divorce

and the tearing apart of

what once was Love.

I have experienced blaming myself for everything

and then realizing that I shouldn’t place that much responsibility upon myself.

I have survived abuse, from others, and from myself.

I have examined my shadows and my darkness to incorporate them into myself so they are no longer frightening

Now I am experiencing healing —

from a lot of things…

and it’s a great time to start over!

XO Lisa

8 comments on “Badassery 9/14

  1. lucyjane77's avatar

    Thank you. I love your posts im new to word press I came becauseI’ve beenthinkingof doinga blogandyours has mademe feeli actually can…..ive been a few of the holes mentioned and im at the start of my journey out… im thinking of writing a blog about my ups and downs of domestic violence mental health addiction and all the shit that comes with it.. the end of a toxic 7 yr relationship ive had 9 months of hell as i start again at 43 im starting to live i now know i don’t want to die i just wanted that part of my life over.. i now know i have something to give i can be a productive member of society….thanks for inspiring me to actually start a blog

    Liked by 1 person

  2. davidatqcm's avatar

    Nice tale, well told! Thanks for telling us all. I’ll follow along http://www.thehobartchinaman.wordpress.com

    Liked by 1 person

  3. bigskybuckeye's avatar

    Life opens up doors when we sometimes feel ourselves running out of strength and perseverance. May you continue to find these new and exciting opportunities.

    Liked by 1 person

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