Well hello little badass calendar…
I made that decision to crawl out of my hole (that sounds really, really, bad… which hole? Oh shit!) There goes my over-active imagination!
I’ve never really had sex with a stranger for drugs, found a lump, or had my electricity shut off. But I suppose there’s a first time for everything…
I have, however experienced holes of a different kind.
Let me rephrase, I have experienced wanting to jump off the edge of the abyss.
End it all.
I think that’s worse than being in a hole. But who am I to judge? Everybody’s hole is their own and quite different.
I have experienced the bottomless pit of low self-esteem. Luckily, I dragged myself out of that godforsaken hellish hole and decided that
Even though I may need to lose 40 pounds
Even though I’m almost 60 years old
List of even thoughs is a long one…
but regardless, I am worthy of self-love
and for being loved for who I am!
I have experienced great love
and the great grief that comes
from my Love dying.
I have experienced divorce
and the tearing apart of
what once was Love.
I have experienced blaming myself for everything
and then realizing that I shouldn’t place that much responsibility upon myself.
I have survived abuse, from others, and from myself.
I have examined my shadows and my darkness to incorporate them into myself so they are no longer frightening
Now I am experiencing healing —
from a lot of things…
and it’s a great time to start over!