Badassery 9/14

Well hello little badass calendar…

I made that decision to crawl out of my hole (that sounds really, really, bad… which hole? Oh shit!) There goes my over-active imagination!

I’ve never really had sex with a stranger for drugs, found a lump, or had my electricity shut off. But I suppose there’s a first time for everything…

I have, however experienced holes of a different kind.

Let me rephrase, I have experienced wanting to jump off the edge of the abyss.

End it all.

Say goodbye.

Check out.

I think that’s worse than being in a hole. But who am I to judge? Everybody’s hole is their own and quite different.

I have experienced the bottomless pit of low self-esteem. Luckily, I dragged myself out of that godforsaken hellish hole and decided that

I

am

worthy!

Even though I may need to lose 40 pounds

Even though I’m almost 60 years old

List of even thoughs is a long one…

but regardless, I am worthy of self-love

and for being loved for who I am!

I have experienced great love

and the great grief that comes

from my Love dying.

I have experienced divorce

and the tearing apart of

what once was Love.

I have experienced blaming myself for everything

and then realizing that I shouldn’t place that much responsibility upon myself.

I have survived abuse, from others, and from myself.

I have examined my shadows and my darkness to incorporate them into myself so they are no longer frightening

Now I am experiencing healing —

from a lot of things…

and it’s a great time to start over!

XO Lisa

8 comments

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  1. lucyjane77

    Thank you. I love your posts im new to word press I came becauseI’ve beenthinkingof doinga blogandyours has mademe feeli actually can…..ive been a few of the holes mentioned and im at the start of my journey out… im thinking of writing a blog about my ups and downs of domestic violence mental health addiction and all the shit that comes with it.. the end of a toxic 7 yr relationship ive had 9 months of hell as i start again at 43 im starting to live i now know i don’t want to die i just wanted that part of my life over.. i now know i have something to give i can be a productive member of society….thanks for inspiring me to actually start a blog

    Liked by 1 person

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