In the Jewish tradition, a stone is set on the grave between six months and one year after a person‘s passing. The stone setting is a time to remember the deceased- the official end of mourning.
Unfortunately, Rona may preclude that from happening on time in my Love’s case.
It was suggested to me that if I need this act for closure, to go ahead with it regardless of who could attend or not.
To me, closure does not exist. The process to healing is ongoing. Memories will not go away. Love remains. The word closure implies that I will forget and move on.
Let me get this straight for whomever is reading: I will move on; I will heal; I will never forget; I will never stop loving him; Memories may still bring me to tears, forever – as they should, it’s okay.
Love is not a competition. Games may be competition, but love is not a game. If ever I have the pleasure and honor of loving and being loved deeply again, that person will understand this concept.
Loved ones who have passed should be remembered and celebrated for the mark they left on the souls of the living. Otherwise, their lives were lived in vain.
Do I seek closure? Absolutely not.
In my (humble) opinion, closure is a myth promulgated by those who do not want to or cannot deal with feelings.
So we will have a stone setting because my Love deserves a stone and not an unmarked grave. Whomever can come, can come. When others can come we will have another visit to the cemetery and another ceremony of remembrance. The Dixieland band he dared me to provide will be in attendance, if only through Wi-Fi. It will be a time of celebration, for he will never be forgotten.
F*ck Rona and Closure.
I guess it depends on how a person defines closure, but I agree, the feelings and memories don’t go away.
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