Strength II

“My dark days made me strong. Or maybe I already was strong, and they made me prove it.”

― Emery Lord, When We Collided

Many have said that I am strong

at this moment I am doubting them.

What is strength?

Crying in my pillow at night?

Missing my Love whose life

I tried so hard to save?

How could grief —

the endless feeling of

being utterly shattered,

aimless, and

scarred beyond recognition

make people perceive me as strong

when I feel weak?

Perhaps the difficult process

of putting the broken pieces

back together while

staring the disappointment

of death in the face,

then testing the waters

of trying to live,

starting to laugh,

and begin again

even through tears

can soften the

hard scar tissue of grief

that remains?

But what if the scars

will make me stronger

than my previous self

and their strength and shield

are meant to show me that

the only life I can really save

is my own?

214 & 26/365 XO Lisa