Holidays and Grief

I posted this on 21 November 2019. The message bears repeating.

Firsts are hard. Let’s face it, every holiday will be difficult from now on.

So I am going to be real for a bit.

Things look different to me now.

Shopping and large crowds- out. Material things that will be forgotten- a waste.

The world looks abnormal from this side of grief.

Someone important is missing-

Life has changed.

Everything is different.

Little things just aren’t important

I may accept your invitation but wake up a hot mess and just stay home…

I may get there and have to leave, for any peculiar reason. It’s my grief, nothing to do with your mashed potatoes. Please don’t take it personally…

I may disappear to breathe, or cry…

Let me…

Give me space…

Please don’t expect perfection

Please don’t pressure me to be everything for everyone – I put enough pressure on myself.

Please don’t expect me to be the great conversationalist

Please don’t question why if I say I can’t, you know why

Please don’t try to guilt me into coming, staying, talking, doing – you’ll lose a friend

Please mention my Love

Please hug me if you want to. I might cry a little, but that’s okay. I may disappear for a bit afterwards to get it together because I don’t want to cry, or ruin your party. So be it.

Please accept my apologies in advance for my mercurial grief…

Some things may never change.

148 & 179 XO Lisa