I posted this on 21 November 2019. The message bears repeating.
Firsts are hard. Let’s face it, every holiday will be difficult from now on.
So I am going to be real for a bit.
Things look different to me now.
Shopping and large crowds- out. Material things that will be forgotten- a waste.
The world looks abnormal from this side of grief.
Someone important is missing-
Life has changed.
Everything is different.
Little things just aren’t important
I may accept your invitation but wake up a hot mess and just stay home…
I may get there and have to leave, for any peculiar reason. It’s my grief, nothing to do with your mashed potatoes. Please don’t take it personally…
I may disappear to breathe, or cry…
Give me space…
Please don’t expect perfection
Please don’t pressure me to be everything for everyone – I put enough pressure on myself.
Please don’t expect me to be the great conversationalist
Please don’t question why if I say I can’t, you know why
Please don’t try to guilt me into coming, staying, talking, doing – you’ll lose a friend
Please mention my Love
Please hug me if you want to. I might cry a little, but that’s okay. I may disappear for a bit afterwards to get it together because I don’t want to cry, or ruin your party. So be it.
Please accept my apologies in advance for my mercurial grief…
Some things may never change.
148 & 179 XO Lisa