“Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.”

— Pema Chodron

When I was lost

in the darkness of grief

the pit

the abyss

the tunnel

so far down

that I didn’t see a way out

there were few who

could just sit with me

share the darkness

see me

hear me

and be silent.

Not offer advice or


just their presence.

Tom Zuba calls it

“Sitting on the Bench.”

I will sit on the bench

with you


The death of someone we love dearly cracks us open. Big time. It’s supposed to.

— Tom Zuba, Permission to Mourn: A New Way to Do Grief

When your heart

is cracked wide open

and shattered,

when you are

most vulnerable,

I will sit with you,

I will see you,

and acknowledge

your pain.

With love.

XO Lisa

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