I was proofreading old blog posts late last night-

reading with a critical eye and basically as an outsider in my head.

Wow, just wow, if I do say so myself.

I have come such a long way in 10 months-

Transformed from internal all-consuming grief

to soul rendering mourning

to putting the pieces back together healing.

Trust me,

not fooling myself-

the journey is not over

ever.

Transformation is always ongoing.

Everything on earth undergoes transformation

lifespan is limited

learning is unlimited

new opportunities arise

new ideas spawn new beliefs

hearing old songs in different times of life evoke memories, but take on new meanings.

Desperado by the Eagles has always been a favorite song. Another song that I could sing in my range and feel every word in my soul. Listening to “Doolin Dalton/ Desperado Reprise” today (for about the hundredth time) made me think about life in the here and now.

“… don’t you wonder why

Sooner or later we all have to die?

Sooner or later, that’s a stone-cold fact,

Four men ride out and only three ride back

The Queen of Diamonds let you down

She was just an empty fable

The Queen of hearts you say you never met

Your twisted fate has found you out

and it’s fin’lly turned the tables

Stole your dreams and paid you with regret

Desperado

(Is there gonna be anything left, is there gonna be anything?)

You sealed your fate up a long time ago

(Ain’t it hard when you’re all alone in the center ring?)

Now there’s no time left to borrow

(Is there gonna be anything left?)

Only stardust

(Maybe tomorrow)

Maybe tomorrow

Desperado”

– Donald Hugh Henley, Glenn Lewis Frey, Jackson Browne, J.d. Souther

I do not want to have regrets at the end of my life.

I will live life with abandon

as if every day were the last-

that is indeed life well lived!

Je vivrai la vie avec abandon comme si chaque jour était le dernier-

C’est bien la vie bien vécue!

XO Lisa

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