Thoughts II

Still reflecting

on my hot mess state yesterday,

the one that nearly broke me…

I’m told

I was due

for a meltdown

of major proportions

but one can never be prepared

for such things…

I am also told that

it probably won’t

be the last…

The next time

I’ll phone a friend sooner

and not be ashamed.

I’ll recognize it for what it is –

a normal part of grief

instead of wondering

what’s wrong with me.

I’ll lean in and

scream it out –

let myself ugly cry louder

instead of stifling it

and turning it inward.

But mostly,

I’ll allow myself to feel it

before it

goes that far

and stop saying I am okay

when I’m not really…

So from now on

I’ll be honest

with myself…

XO Lisa

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