Today was my typical weekend day without my love. Just trying to keep busy so I wouldn’t overthink.
I ran some errands and was in the area so I stopped by the cemetery to say ‘hello’. I shared what I had been doing, left a stone on the grass, cried, and realized that he’s not really there. But I knew that already… My love’s body is buried there, but his soul is with G-d and I carry his memory around with me every moment of every day.
Just the thought brings me some comfort, because I miss him. I miss him when I get in the car and want to tell the Bluetooth to ‘call my husband’ and it replies ‘I cannot find that number’. I miss him in the grocery store when I walk past the plums and reach for them because they were his favorite snack. So then people are looking at the strange lady with tears in her eyes…
I promised my love that I would be okay when he was no longer here, and I will. But grief sneaks up and catches me by surprise in the most mundane ways. It brings me to my knees and sometimes allows me to laugh at memories of good times. But it is always present. Whether I like it or not.
I hope that whomever is reading this is having an excellent day… ❤️