Elephant in the Room Grateful Gratitude Series happy

220 An Elephant in the Room

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

“Never ignore the elephant in the room. That’s rude; play with it and introduce it.”

― Donna Lynn Hope

Of course I would address the elephant sitting in the middle of the room-

walk up and say hello

look after his/her happiness and comfort…

This particular elephant in the room is multi-faceted and it has to do with perception.

The perception that I have “moved on” since my marriage to Bill almost one month ago, perhaps that I have forgotten people associated with Larry.

My question is thus: “Moved on from what?”

It was not my intention to replace Larry with Bill, for neither of them are replaceable.

It was never my intention to move on from Larry because he will always be with me.

Always.

In my memories,

dreams,

soul,

and being.

As I said,

irreplaceable.

No two people should be compared in that way,

ever.

But the truth of the matter that I have had to live with in the last two years two months, and 13 days is that Larry is no longer here in his physical body.

He has gone on to his next great adventure in the presence of God.

“He learned to live with the truth. Not to accept it, but to live with it. It was like living with an elephant. His room was tiny, and every morning he had to squeeze around the truth just to get to the bathroom. To reach the armoire to get a pair of underpants he had to crawl under the truth, playing it wouldn’t choose the moment to sit on his face. At night, when he closed his eyes, he felt it looming above him.”

― Nicole Krauss

Accepting that truth was the cornerstone of building my new life with Bill.

Accepting the truth that

God does not make mistakes.

Accepting the truth that

it was not my destiny to live the rest of my life with Larry,

but it was Larry’s destiny to live the remainder of his life with me.

I am honored to have been given that gift.

Accepting the truth that

Larry would not have wanted me to live the rest of my life alone, sad, and mourning because he is no longer on earth, but on the grandest pain-free adventure of his lifetime.

Accepting the truth that

nothing happens by coincidence.

Therefore, when I met Bill and we formed a bond it was not merely coincidence, but a gift from God.

Accepting the truth that

there is room for both Larry and Bill in my heart.

Accepting the truth that

I can be sad and happy at the same time.

Just as a mother and father do not love any of their children less when another is born, the love that Bill and I share grows every day

…but there is room for Larry at our table.

He comes up in conversation.

We talk about memories.

Bill has accepted Larry as part of me because he is, and that is as it should be.

What more could I ask for in a kind, loving husband and partner in life?

The elephant in the room is happy and comfortable –

and I am grateful.

XO Lisa ❤️

15 comments on “220 An Elephant in the Room

  1. Lisa, your transparency will touch and encourage others who are widowed. Congratulations to you and Bill may Jehovah bless your marriage with great joy, unity, precious memories, and laughter that aids the continuous healing of grief. I pray the healing process users in a new era of unexpected intimacy with your Lord.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Mary Quinn

    Everyone wants to be happy in body and spirit!! I bless your new relationship and fact is so would Larry. He would of never wanted you to live alone and Bill is a great guy! Grow in love and life. Memories make a difference in everyones life. That is why they call them memories. Gone but never forgotten! Love you Lisa!! Be happy !!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This was so beautiful, Lisa! I’m so happy for you and Bill! Congrats!🎉 There is beauty in finding a partner who will let you keep your memories and share them. Us kids were blessed when my dad found a wonderful lady who didn’t mind sharing memories about our mother and even had a few family pics hung in memory. She was never jealous, but embraced and celebrated dad’s life before they were married. She was a true gem! I’m so glad you found Bill. I wish you both joy and healing together!💜🎁🥰

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Excellent post, Lady. That said it all. I’m so happy for you.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Blessings to you and Bill. May both you embrace your precious journey every day. Within God’s plans, His love finds a way.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Lisa well said. I truly believe our loved ones want us to find joy laughter and to love deeply. Bill is a gift and Im so happy for both of you.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh my Lisa this is so beautiful and well said. Brought tears to my eyes and warmed my heart. I felt every word you said Ty for sharing. Hugs dear friend

    Liked by 1 person

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