“We all have forests on our minds. Forests unexplored, unending. Each one of us gets lost in the forest, every night, alone.”
― Ursula K. Le Guin, The Wind’s Twelve Quarters
I have always viewed forests as dark, scary places…
Maybe I was traumatized as a child by the enchanted forest in the movie “Snow White” that my mom took me to see as a child.
“And into the forest I go, to lose my mind and find my soul”
― John Muir
Perhaps I was always afraid of the dark
or what I perceived as my darkness…
“My battle with the forest depths was wholly lost, or so it seemed. My hand still shakes with the thought of how close I came to dying, for I felt the burning coldness of Death’s breath upon my face, and the whisper of sliding bones in my ear. But alas, I am still among the living, or so I believe.”
― Christopher C. Fuchs, The Depths of Redemption
But after I embraced myself, my shadows, weirdness, demons, kink, depravity, all the parts that I always thought were not good enough, not ‘perfect’ my inner darkness became less scary.
I began to notice sunshine.
I was able to see the glorious light streaming through the trees
I finally felt whole.
At night, the deep dark depths of my mind no longer seemed as scary
and I found comfort sleeping in total darkness.
As a result of self-discovery, I no longer need the validation of others
to feel complete.
I am content with myself in this moment, and will make improvements when I decide to do so.
Many do not want to face their darkness because it is not a task for the faint of heart. But I view it as a ‘Why?’ on my road less-traveled through the forest.
I always seem to take the road less-traveled.
It is my main road.
I am curious, probably in more ways than one.
However, I want to know things. Not just know, but KNOW.
I like to find out not only how, but also why.
I probably drove my Mother a bit crazy as a child.
‘Why am I afraid of the dark?’
‘Why do I feel unworthy at times?’
‘How can I change those things to live my best life?’
Always questioning, seeking, and looking for answers.
The Road Not Taken
“TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. ”
― Robert Frost Ph.D., The Road Not Taken and Other Poems
I used to wonder what my life would be like today had I taken another road.
I wonder no longer…
My life is a rich, beautiful, cacophony of experiences that are mine alone.
All have melded to create the person I am today.
I am grateful.
XO Lisa ❤️