Grateful for 60 Years (I Think)…
“We scarcely know how much of our pleasure and interest in life comes to us through our eyes until we have to do without them…”― Ursula K. Le Guin, Gifts
The good news is that I didn’t let it get that far.
Today I finally went for a bilateral cataract evaluation.
I am effectively night-blind in my right eye when car headlights are shining in my eyes.
I have known about these cataracts for about five years, but Larry’s illness, life, and COVID got in the way of scheduling surgery.
Today the surgeries were scheduled for both eyes.
I am not afraid of the possibility that the surgeries may not help my vision – the fact was reiterated many times over due to the type of cataract I have.
“Loss of sight is unfortunate but loss of perception is a calamity. Refusing to see from other’s point of view is an acute form of blindness.”― Vincent Okay Nwachukwu, Weighty ‘n’ Worthy African Proverbs – Volume 1
Fingers crossed and prayers to G-d that the cataract surgeries are successful and my eyes will be good afterwards.
Regardless of success, I will find a new way to do life, because I am tenacious.
The day after the first surgery, I have the ‘pleasure’ of more testing due to a possible finding on my most recent mammogram. Perhaps I will (jokingly) ask for a uni-boob if one of the girls needs to be removed (they’re just unnecessary equipment at this stage of my life)…
I have already decided against chemo and radiation should the news turn out to be worst-case-scenario. But that’s just my ‘prepare for the worst and hope for the best’ mentality.
“Do not confuse stubbornness with tenacity, for the former is blind to reason while the latter has no reason to be blind.”― Craig D. Lounsbrough
Although I am not blind to reason, I have been called stubborn many times.
I suppose it just takes a good, convincing, argument to change my mind.
Tenacity runs in my family though…
Our family motto was ‘Suck it up and move on!’
My mom let her cataracts get so bad before she addressed the issue that she woke up one morning and couldn’t see out of one eye. I remember that call like it was yesterday.
At least I can see out of my right eye during daylight – it is just very blurry at the moment.
But all is not lost – At this moment I have sight, the prayers and support of family and friends, two boobs …
and my tenacity.
I also have my faith in G-d.
Faith that G-d is in control of my life.
Faith that H-e knows the outcome before I ask.
Faith that whatever happens, G-d will hold me and those who love me in the palm of H-s hands.
Faith that although I believe I have decided my course, I will ultimately make the right decision when and if the time comes.
Faith that has been passed down to me from my tenacious parents and grandparents.