A Challenge

A challenge accepted from Big Sky Buckeye, a talented blogger that I follow:

“Each step you take reveals a new horizon.  You have taken the first step today.  Now, I challenge you to take another. Write on a subject you love.”

Big Sky Buckeye – Dan Poynter Quotes

Write on a subject I love. Everything I write comes from love.

Honestly, most of my writing comes from dealing with grief after the death of my Love. This one sentinel event changed my entire life and blogging became a way to deal with my feelings. Which, in a twisted sort of way is writing on a subject I love, because love never dies.

I write about healing and the healing process. I don’t love the fact that I need to heal in the first place, but definitely feel better since I have opened myself up to healing. So in another twisted sort of way, I love healing but hate the process.

I write about my family, especially my grandlittles. I love my family. I can say that with the utmost sincerity. My family includes children, children-in-love, bonus children, grandchildren, my biological sister, my chosen sister, extended family, extended bonus family, extended ex-family, good friends, and anyone else I may have forgotten. They hover, invite me to gatherings, check in, check up, even when I don’t want to talk, and when I want to be alone. They’re there for me. I could not have survived the last 201 days and all the struggles beforehand without their love, prayers, and presence.

I write about music – the driving beat that silences the voices in my head. The ones that tell me there is no way I will survive the pain. Then the next song dares me to silence those voices by singing of gratitude, conquering fear, and praising G-d for surviving the darkness.

I will write about life – because it is worth fighting for. Fighting through depression, feelings of unworthiness, sadness, and despair. Under all those feelings is a spark of me pushing upwards from darkness to light and saying “You are still here- and worthy.”

I write about gratitude – for all of the above. For experiencing a love worthy of deep grief. Gratitude that the healing process has begun. For those who have supported me in good times and bad. And for the opportunity to continue to write the song of my life. Minor key or major, it will be a symphony… soon.

I will leave you with this:

Thank you for the challenge.

201 & 12/365 XO Lisa