Well hello little badass calendar…
Nice message today… hits a little too close to the bone.
Non-stop, self-flagellating, I Suckfest, huh?
I used to be able to relate to that.
It was my defense mechanism.
The way I kept people at arm’s length.
If I thought I sucked, nobody would want to be around me, right?
I was on a straight path to seriously self-destructive beliefs before I met Lawrence.
It took just the right person to break an awful habit. He saw through my smokescreen and showed me, through repetition, that I was valuable and worthy.
He accepted me as I was when we met; untrusting, broken, unable to love, and self-deprecating. He led me out of my dark wilderness with his firm hand on my shoulder, a loving heart, and gave me time to develop trust. He saw something in me that I couldn’t see in myself.
I can never thank him enough for literally transforming not only my life, but also how I think about myself.
Through the years he gave me the tools that I would need to continue to live without him.
I used to apologize at the end of almost every sentence.
It sounded as though my opinions and my thoughts didn’t matter. Negating my feelings on nearly any subject.
I am happy to say that I broke myself of that habit by quickly following “Sorry” with “Not sorry”.
As for not being valuable and worthy?
I am both.
Sometimes I still fall back into old habits and need to remind myself that indeed I am valuable and worthy, but a quick reminder generally does the job.
My self-esteem is healthy without being obnoxious (I hope).
I am worthy.
I am valuable.
I am a child of G-d.
You are worthy.
You are valuable.
You are a child of G-d.
Never, ever, forget it.
XO Lisa ❤️ living a gratitude filled life!