Bringing Myself Forth

What a concept!

Acting in my best interests

Doing only what seems right for me

Sounds pretty selfish, right?

Not really…

It sounds like I am being unapologetically real for the first time in my life.

In order to heal from my hyper-rollercoaster of grief and slow it down to the ups and downs of a coaster in the kiddie park,

I have to do what is right for me,

in my own way.

I must take care of myself.

Lawrence went on to his next great adventure

538 days

1 year, 5 months, 19 days

17 months, 19 days

76 weeks and 6 days ago.

Those 538 days encompassed my lowest of lows when I did not want to remain on this spinning earth ball and numbness with non-stop crying. Then glimpses of happiness that morphed into acceptance and the road to healing.

Everything can change on a moment’s notice when tears rise slyly to the surface and spill out – then there is no choice but to ride the grief wave to the end.

My road to healing began in earnest when I realized that I could not live the remainder of my life in constant sorrow – always looking backwards.

Grief has softened as I have embraced healing, gathered more tools to use along the way, and found support through unconditionally supportive family, friends, and a tribe of soul sisters.

My 538 day journey of grief, mourning, and healing has taught me some very important lessons:

Keep peace as a priority

Do not take ANYTHING personally

Focus on breathing

Remain positive

Recognize signs

Live in the present moment because I am guaranteed nothing more

Embrace memories

Accept that not everyone will understand me

Everyone’s journey is personal

Healing is the best gift I can give myself, Larry, and the ones I love

Sadness is a part of life, and I can choose what to do with my sadness.

I choose to:

Be unapologetically real

Imperfectly Perfect

and Bring Myself Forth!

XO Lisa ❤️ living a gratitude filled life!

9 comments on “Healing

  1. Pingback: Gifting the Compliment – A Guy Called Bloke

  2. Well done Lisa,

    Those are facts … grief is painful, but it’s the biggest healing there is, it allows us when we are ready to reallt become reflective and then choose positivity over negativity. 538 Days of discovery.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I know I’m still way too early with my grieving BS to be anywhere close to how far you’ve come (sorry for calling it BS, I’m just really going through it…😔).
    December hasn’t been an easy month for quite some years for me. Every time I thought I was coming around, feeling slightly holiday…ish, my black cloud reap havoc. The toughest thing I deal with is December 25 is also my youngest daughter’s birthday. The guilt that I have with struggling to enjoy her birthday has been pretty darn hard but, I would feel strong/proud that I always got through it without anyone seeing how my heart felt for the last 8 years. And then when I think it can’t get any worse, BAM! It does. It’s only been 3 months since my oldest passed. My youngest, Gracie, will be 14 this Christmas and had a breakdown because she doesn’t want to celebrate her birthday. It’s truly killing me. I’m so sorry I just had my own mini meltdown by ranting. Ugh…I just wanted to let you know that I love your strength and honesty of what it’s been like for you. I actually envy it and so hope one day I can grasp just an ounce of your bravery. ❤️💛❤️💛

    Liked by 1 person

    • Aimee,
      I love that you are so honest and open with your feelings. Just do what is comfortable for you – always. If I can’t climb over or tunnel under, I find a way around.
      As for your daughter, surely Christmas is painful for her too… perhaps an un-birthday celebration another mutually agreed upon day? I hope you have a support system through the holidays and beyond.
      XOOO many hugs… Lisa

      Liked by 1 person

      • 💛 Thank you.
        Yes, I keep an extremely small circle of family and 3 friends (known my entire life) who I truly trust and love and have been through Hell and back with me before. This time though, Hell would be a vacation and not a way to describe what we’re hurdling now…together because this time, they’re grieving alongside me. I don’t deby the fact that I am more than lucky to an unbiased, nonjudgmental, trusting support circle. I know not everyone has the true support they need.
        I’m always so appreciative that my heart fills up whenever you (and two other amazing and inspirational bloggers I follow) reply back or send encouraging and kind words. It feels good because I don’t think anyone knows how incredibly hard it is for me to have even started this journey on here. I have suffered with major trust issues so this is a huge step for me. Thank you…💛

        Liked by 1 person

        • Aimee,
          The Word Press Community is amazingly supportive and not judgmental like social media. That’s why I love it here. I am happy that you have supportive people around you. Keep writing and pouring your feelings out. It’s truly cathartic. XO ❤️Lisa

          Liked by 1 person

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