A friend told me that if negative self-talk words or emotions pop up in my head, put my hands over my heart and say “Faith in its place”.
What an amazing concept.
Acknowledge the thought, feel it, feel the pain it causes
Give it a time limit if you must
then cancel, clear, and delete.
Replace negative with love.
Since I can remember, my self-talk has been less than flattering, mostly critical. I’ve used many of the words found in the picture (above) to describe myself in my head over the years.
Looking back, I see that I felt inferior for no good reason. I just always did, and beat myself up for it. Until I met my Love. He loved me unconditionally, as I was in any moment.
He cherished ME!
I lost a lot of weight – a couple of times – during our marriage. Each time he celebrated my victories, then gently reminded me that he loved me no matter how I appeared. He loved my heart. He loved the me he fell in love with. He loved the me I was in that moment. He just loved me. After experiencing unconditional love in such a profound way, I could never accept anything less – from anyone. I am so grateful that I experienced 4987 days with my Love.
I was talking to my cousin and she had a similar experience with her late husband. She related that the unconditional love she received from her husband restored her faith in a loving Father G-d.
I will clarify that I do not consider the act of mourning as a negative emotion. I feel every one of the emotions of mourning, roll with them, and feel the pain. Then shift to believing that healing is possible. I am continually working on the internal grief -to- external mourning -to- healing continuum.
Negative self-talk will not help my healing process. But another paradigm shift must occur in my self-perception. I must see myself as worthy of healing. I must believe that I will heal. I must love myself enough to move forward towards healing.
The point here, is that we need to talk to ourselves as though we are the person who cherishes us the most. With unconditional love and a healthy dose of reality if we screw up, but acceptance and the ability to love ourselves through anything we are experiencing.
Self-love is healthy.
Replacing negative self-talk with love is healthy.
Mourning is healthy.
Gratitude is healing.
Healing is healthy.
Faith in its place could be a game-changer!
I’ll let you know…
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